Beginning A New Life
Chinese Boarding School
Based on China’s family planning policy, known as the one-child policy, a child born in the 1990’s is the only child in his or her family; this makes each child the “apple of his/her parents’ eyes”. Chinese parents strive to build the best environment possible for their child. As the child becomes of school age, a popular topic discussed among parents throughout China is whether or not to send the child to boarding school. Some parents are concerned about their only child living elsewhere, and they fear that their children cannot take care of himself well without the parents’ assistance. Parents’ excessive worries often cause children to become more and more dependent and sensitive, so that living away from home at a boarding school becomes a huge challenge for the child. However, from a long-term perspective, living in a boarding school is beneficial for the child because she learns how to become independent, how to solve interpersonal relationship issues, and to potentially have a better understanding of her own parents.
In households where parents dote on their children, many children even do not know how to perform simple tasks such as peeling an egg. Spoiling a child does not always lead to major issues, but sometimes the results can be disastrous. A tragic example is an incident that occurred when a 14-year old boy in Shiyan, Hubei province was found dead. Although the reason was not fully determined, in the primary estimation, the boy died of starvation because he could not take care of himself. According to the China Daily article, “Suppressing and restricting children’s normal behavior prevents them from developing independence and confidence. Worse, parents’ excessive arrangements for children deprive children of the ability to adapt.” (“Tragedy Deserving Reflection,” China Daily. 22 Mar. 2012).
This tragic event shows the significance of independence, which can be improved at a boarding school. Children cannot live in a protective environment forever. Enrollment in a boarding school can be the first step in shaping children’s abilities for independence.
Children also learn how to solve interpersonal relationships in boarding schools. They must know how to solve conflicts with classmates, how to discuss their own ideas with professors, and how to get help from others. All of interactions require communication skills. In boarding schools, children meet many people having a variety of different characteristics. In learning how to get along with others, children learn how to resolve their differences and adapt.
In an article written by Bill Slocum (Yiying: please give a very brief description of his background; who is he? An educator? And give the title/source of the article.) the focus is on the “global thinking” found in boarding schools. He is in favor of boarding schools and thinks that communicating with people is important because the 90’s students “live in a globalized time”. With the combination of different cultures, accessing other people’s cultures and views becomes more and more important. The advantages of a boarding school go beyond this, too. Children can make more friends and gain knowledge from peers. As Confucius said, “Three people are walking. There must be someone among them who can be my teacher.” The more friends that a child has, the more she can learn.
Importantly, children can begin to better understand and appreciate their parents after attending boarding schools. Some people argue that attending a boarding school means leaving one’s parents, and that it will make children have less contact with their parents and weaken their bond. Studies have found the opposite consequence. As Megan Lovegrove and Louise Bedwell identified in their article (give title/source of article), all teenagers have their rebellious stages. Sometimes, even though teens know clearly that their behavior will cause anger in their parents, they will still continue with the behavior. Then the generation gap between them and their parents gets deeper and deeper. Lovegrove and Bedwell explain that teenagers behave like this because they do not have a way to experience their parents’ love. In children’s daily lives, parents cater to their needs. The children come to disregard their parents’ love and concern. As a result, children need a relatively independent environment to learn to be more aware of their parents’ love; this makes boarding school a good choice.
In boarding schools, no one will push children through all of their responsibilities. Children must deal with school and life situations by themselves, and they will face difficulties on their own. When they get up late and miss an important course, they will suffer the consequences and know why their mothers always woke them up every morning. When children waste too much time on computer games and fail exams, they will better understand why their fathers limited their time in playing these games. When they have to put their hands in cold water to wash clothes, they will know some of the inconveniences and hardships their parents experienced. Awareness improves family relationships.
Overall, the advantages of going to a boarding school outweigh its disadvantages because it can shape children’s independent abilities, teach them how to solve interpersonal relationship, and help them understand their parents more. No one can deny that attending this kind of school is a huge challenge for families, but only by facing difficulties and challenging themselves can children learn more knowledge, hone their personalities, and become more mature. Living in a boarding school is a big step to independence for the children. Often, it is the first step to other future successes.
By Yiying Liu
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